Anxiety Is Like A Water Tank: A Metaphor

One of my favorite metaphors to share with my clients is the idea of anxiety as a water tank. You know, the ones you see on tv where the magician is standing inside and has to escape before he drowns?

Imagine, yourself inside of one of these for just a moment….

Everyone has experiences within their lives where the “water level rises.” We call this normal, everyday stress. Through daily self-care like eating healthy, sleeping, exercising, spending time with friends, etc. these water levels lower back down. They’re almost like holes or drains within the water tank. Many people may not even notice the water level rising if it only ever gets to knee or even waist height.

Now, imagine that some of those drains are blocked, maybe you have a newborn that is still figuring out how to sleep in this strange new world. Maybe you can’t exercise because your days are so packed with obligations that you choose sleep over exercise Or perhaps, you haven’t seen your friends for a significant length of time and you are starting to feel the wear of loneliness?

If these drains become blocked, suddenly, that water does not drain as it should, and the stress from the next day, though maybe the same in volume, starts at a higher level than the day before.

Alternatively, imagine that instead of your normal stress, you have extra stress. Maybe you lost your job, or a family member passed away. These unique and difficult stressors don’t happen every day but they can be heavy. Psychiatrists Thomas Holmes & Richard Rahe created a survey to measure some of these “unique” stress factors to determine if you may be at risk for developing mental health issues.

In my water tank metaphor, I explain to people that it’s as if buckets of water are being dumped into the tank in addition to the water that naturally flows in. The added water makes it difficult for the drainage system to work correctly so you again have a build-up of water within your tank.

I imagine you can see where this is going, Before long, that water level can rise to the point of chest, chin, or even nose level. Sometimes, our water levels are so high that it might only take a small cup of water (or what we might call a minor stressor) to make us feel like we are drowning.

So often, I will hear clients tell me, “I know it wasn’t a big deal, but…” or “I don’t know why that got to me so much.” The reality is that our brains and our bodies are responding to a variety of factors, and we cannot simply logic our way out of stressors.

So what do we do with this metaphor? Well now that you understand how the tank either has extra buckets filling it or the drainage isn’t working, we can now evaluate which area is more problematic.

If we have extra buckets:

If we have extra buckets being dumped in, maybe we can cut off any of those water sources. You will have to determine which water sources are natural and necessary versus which may be optional.

For example, maybe you are a member of several organizations and can feel that one is creating more stress for you at the time. You may need to take a break from an organization to limit the water pouring in from that responsibility.

Or, maybe you are dealing with conflict within a friendship or relationship. In this case, you may need to address the source of water and see if you can resolve or mend the conflict. Keep in mind, I am not recommending you cut off a relationship because it’s “stressing you out.” I am encouraging you to identify where your “extra buckets” are coming from and ask yourself what your options are in responding to them.

If we need more holes to drain the water:

The second response we can have is focusing on the drainage system. As I said, we have natural ways to drain the water from our metaphorical tank (sleep, diet, exercise, friends, etc) but these ways may be unavailable at certain times. Start with prioritizing the basics. Don’t underestimate the power of good sleep, diet and exercise or a night out with a good friend or friends.

As you evaluate your drainage, ask yourself if you have time to practice these basic self-care skills: Do you eat healthy, balanced meals during the day or are you more “snack on the go”? Do you have a sleep routine or sleep schedule? Do you wake up at the same time each day? How do you spend your free time?

When I bring up self-care, I often hear, “I know, but…”

Believe me, I get it! It is hard to maintain even these basic elements sometimes because we see the water level rising and we panic and try to distract from the water. The reality is, these basic steps are important. They are just as hard for me as they are for you.

Our world today is constantly vying for our attention and we struggle to attend to the things that seem basic. But they are foundational.

So, look at your drainage system. Are you mentally, emotionally, spiritually, physically, and relationally meeting your basic needs? If you are, then it might be time to add a few temporary drains to deal with the extra water.

When new drainage is needed, it’s often because we have more water coming in than our basic self-care can handle. When this is the case, I encourage people to start thinking about how they can poke some holes in the water tank to help the water flow out. In counseling, we often call these holes “coping skills.” When you set out to poke holes in your tank, it is okay to try a lot of things. Sometimes a coping skill will help and sometimes it won’t. Try out new skills. For example, while one person might find that listening to music helps relax them, another might find they need to clean their house to feel more at ease.

There is not a right and a wrong way to cope, only effective and ineffective ways specific to you.

So how can this metaphor be used to help others? Well, for one, it allows us to use pictures and imagery for something abstract. Describing anxiety as a form of “drowning” has been helpful to many of my clients who have dealt with anxiety. And when we think of how we would feel if we were drowning in water, it allows us to begin to empathize with someone who feels like they are drowning in their anxiety. And when we are able to label and identify how things feel, it is natural for the parts of our brain associated with problem-solving to kick on and begin to work at reducing this negative feeling.

If you are struggling with anxiety and want help learning how to lower the water levels for yourself, I would love to talk with you. Go to my website to set up a free 20-minute consultation.