How do I leave my current job on good terms?
By now, most of you have probably heard of "The Great Resignation."
For those of you who have heard it but don't know what it means, it is referring to the flood of individuals leaving their current jobs in hopes of finding something more fulfilling. Some are leaving these jobs for a better pay, while others want to focus on new priorities such as time with family. Regardless of the reason, people are exiting current jobs at a rapid pace.
If you have been considering following the countless others who have decided to move on, but feel stuck, this post is for you.
In today’s post, we will talk about:
Should I stay or should I go?
How do I talk to my boss?
How do I deal with leaving a toxic work environment?
You may find that some areas you’ve already figured out. If so, just skip down to the question that fits you best.
Should I stay or should I go?
First and foremost, let’s just talk about the plan to leave a job. It can be scary or liberating, stressful or a relief. But sometimes leaving is the best choice you can make for yourself or your family.
I am not going to tell you the 10 reasons why it's time to quit because it’s often more complicated than checking items off a list.
However, if you've been thinking about saying goodbye to the work you know, talk with some trusted friends and family about your feelings on the issue. Ask for their feedback. Ask people who have left their jobs how they did it and how they felt.
Talking with others about your own thoughts and feelings can help simply because we need to say things out loud sometimes. When we talk out loud about our thoughts and feelings, it forces us to collect our thoughts all in one place. Friends and family also might think about reasons to stay or leave that you hadn’t thought of.
If you don’t have friends or family to talk to, journaling can help to. Listen readers, I am going to tell you what I tell all my clients. Journaling is not the “dear diary” picture that we always think of. You don’t have to even keep what you write. Journaling is taking a piece of paper and writing out your thoughts or feelings. If you want, this can even be a pros/cons list or bullet points. The key is to write it out so your thoughts can organize themselves a little better.
If you want a solid journaling prompt to reflect on leaving or not, write these two phrases on the top of 2 different pages: “I want to stay in my current job because…” and “I want to leave my current job because…”
At this point, if you decide that staying makes more sense, thank you for reading and have a great day. For the rest of you, I’m guessing you decided leaving is the best choice.
How do I talk to my boss?
Putting in your 2-weeks notice (or whatever time frame it may be) is an art. Depending on your relationship with your employer, you may approach this in a variety of ways.
First of all, if you have a close relationship with your boss, have been working at the company for 3+ years, or will be leaving a noticeable gap in resources upon departure, it's important to acknowledge this. I highly recommend a thank you note built into your resignation letter. Even if you are happy to leave, that company has still been a part of your life for a significant amount of time. Tell them reasons why you're grateful and maybe even reasons why it was hard to leave.
Including a thank you in your resignation letter keeps the door open with your former boss in case you need to request references or even if you decide to return to your previous employer for some reason.
You also want to include an exit plan in your message to your boss. This might be as simple as saying, “my last day working will be…” If you are a part of projects, teams, or need to hand off responsibilities in any way, outline how you will do this. Not only does this help your employer transition, but it helps you look like a responsible employee and will be reflected in any references given on your behalf. (It also helps clearly outline the expectations of what you will do before leaving, which we will talk about more in the section below.)
Finally, show up for the rest of your time there. I know many people will put in their 2-weeks notice and sort of "check out" before their departure date. Please don't do this. In those final days or weeks working at your soon-to-be former company, your engagement or disengagement will be noticed.
People will watch you more closely to see how you perform even when you know you're leaving. And, when they are contacted as a reference, they'll be able to speak to your loyalty and dependability even to the end.
How do I deal with leaving a toxic work environment?
Nowadays, it feels like toxic work environments are on the rise (or maybe people are just calling them out more.) If you’re unsure whether you’re in a toxic environment or just a bad fit, this is where I will give you a checklist.
You may be in a toxic work environment if:
Your schedule or boundaries with work aren’t respected
You feel guilt-tripped into doing more than your job description
Other employees are constantly complaining or gossiping about one another
You start to feel anxiety about going in each day
You feel constantly burnt out at work
You start feeling sick more often
You feel criticized for your work
You are unable to give your boss feedback out of fear of retaliation
Other employees are quitting or leaving at a rapid pace
You feel anxious about asking for time off because of how your boss might react
These are a few possibilities, but if any are happening and you want a second opinion, talk with a friend, family member, or even helping professional who can help you narrow down just what is and isn’t fitting within the workplace.
If you are struggling with workplace burnout, you might also be interested in this post from a couple months ago: How to Deal with Workplace Burnout.
Here’s the good news, when leaving a toxic work environment, you have permission to leave emotions out of it. It’s a contract ending, not a friendship. Within a toxic work environment, you can keep it simple.
For example you might say: I am letting you know that my final day working will be [date]. I am currently scheduled to work [days/times]. I intend to honor this schedule unless told otherwise. Thank you for your time.
When you leave a toxic workplace, boundaries are crucial. As I said earlier, outlining an exit plan can help you put your expectations in the open and call for your employer to voice their expectations. There may be times that a boss says “just leave now” or “before you leave…” to change the boundaries. It’s up to you to decide if these are reasonable or not.
One quick tip, if possible, review your employee contract. This can often help you establish or hold boundaries when it comes time to leave.
When you talk about your previous job in interviews…
If you are planning on moving on to a new position, make sure that your conversations about your former employer remain positive or at least neutral. As you apply for positions, interviewers may ask why you left your previous place of work. If your answer is about how much you hated it there, your chances of getting the new job decrease significantly.
You don't have to air out your former boss' dirty laundry. It looks worse on you than it does on your former boss.
Leaving a job well is about showing gratitude (and sometimes grace) toward your former employer. If you feel you need to leave, then do so. However, make sure that when you look back, you can feel confident that you left that place in the best way possible.
*Please note: A toxic work environment is not the same as a hostile work environment. If you feel unsafe or harassed in any way, it is important to leave that environment as quickly as possible. If you feel prompted to speak on a former hostile work environment or employer, I recommend you seek the added support of a career coach or counselor to determine the best responses in this situation.
